It's all about setting some kind of personal best -- well, personal fastest -- while actually going nowhere.

It's all about setting some kind of personal best -- well, personal fastest -- while actually going nowhere.

Introducing ShelBroCo QuadraTech Chainrings and Non-Rotation sleeve nuts

Just not a year for jokes.

Electronic shifting, power meter, cadence sensor, performance monitor, smartphone, GPS -- all connect without ugly, clumsy, fragile wires, thanks to the world-standard ANT+ communications protocol.

Boost your energy with ShelBroCo Power Powder. Special prices this Sunday of Easter and Passover.

Getting lost is a pain. Find your way home with ShelBroCo RideWithoutGPS, the navigation system that never lets you down.

Helium weighs only 0.13 times as much as air! Imagine what it can do for your tires.

A pavement marking paint that does double duty as an illuminated warning signal!

Remove those pesky dents in a flash!

Meet the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration standards with distinctive sounds.

Now you can OWN the urban bicycle of your dreams.

All the advantages of the classic ten-speed and of a modern ten-sprocket system

YOUR turn to turn the wrench

Bicycling advocacy takes a walk.

There is Only One Correct Way to clean and lubricate your chain!

The credit card for the Serious Cyclist!

The drivetrain of the 21st century!

Product W, the ultimate performance-enhancing drug, with Theobromine!

Safety with Style

It's probably too late for you--but don't you want your children to have a chance to become Champion Cyclists?

The Universal Torque Wrench!

Are you a Real Man? Then why are you still riding on a "unisex" saddle?

A revolutionary new spoke design makes spoke breakage a thing of the past!

Can't figure out your gears? Maybe you need a GearTel!

Use the Earth's magnetic field to enhance your speed!

Sinister corporations are trying to undermine the character of the Youth of America
by producing bicycles which glorify Evil!

Although I am well known to have no sense of humor whatever, my alter ego, Carapace Completed Umber, is silly enough for both of us. This page collects some of his postings to various bicycle-related newsgroups.

Are your spokes holding you back? Then you need new POWerwheels!

Vehicle or vestment? 101 Reasons Why Biking is Better than Blading.

Using old-fashioned solid bearing balls? No wonder you're so slow!

Not bicycle related, but funny.

From That Sceptred Isle

Be ready to ride the apocalypse!

Mountain-bike humor...no connection with Indian music, alas.