Sheldon Brown |
Proudly Presents: |
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Geomagnetic Booster!
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Using high-tech state-of-the-art niobium-samarium-cobalt magnets, in conjunction with your existing steel frame, Sheldon Brown's Geomagnetic Booster will, at the touch of a button, magnetize your frame, by the modern miracle of electromagnetic induction.
When you are heading in a northerly direction, a momentary push of the "N" button will cause your frame to be magnetized so that the front of the frame will be attracted toward the North Magnetic Pole, and the rear of the frame will be pushed away from the South Magnetic pole. As long as you cycle in a northerly direction, you get a constant boost from the Earth's magnetic field! It's like an automatic tailwind!
When your travels take you in a southerly direction, press the "S" button, and a brief stream of electrons will be sent hurtling through the induction coil in the opposite direction, magnetizing the frame in the opposite polarity, so that it will be inexorably drawn in the direction of the Antarctic landmass!
Unfortunately, the current state of this technology does not provide any boost if you're heading east or west...but our scientists and alchemists are working hard on this problem, and we hope for a breakthrough in the near future!
The "Ultra" version doesn't merely rely on the magnetism of the frame itself, but involves filling the top tube with rare-earth magnetic material, to markedly increase the magnetic boost effect, while only adding a couple of pounds to the weight of the frame.
*Guaranteed for the life of the unit, or two weeks, whichever comes first. This guarantee specifically excludes electrical parts. Use only under appropriate medical supervision. We are not responsible for any damages or accidents resulting from engaging the magnetic coil in proximity to motor vehicles or other large agglomerations of ferrous metal. Void where prohibited, prohibited where void, keep away from children and animals, use only with adequate ventilation, write if you get work and hang by your thumbs.
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